Pain

Assalamualaikum

7.03pm 11/5/2017

Right now I'm sitting on a bench at a bus stop waiting for the bus obviously. And yeah, I write this post using my phone. It is quiet tough to write with your phone cause everything is so tiny. But I insist to write because while waiting, I keep on thinking about someone's pain. Someone I admire since I was 22. His name is Beni. Dr. Beni Rusani to be exact. A cardiologist at IJN. He is an author for Diagnosis series, a book series about doctor's life. It was fun reading doctors' experiences while handling and facing the terror from their patients. And among those stories, the one that really catch my heart was the story that was written by Dr. Beni. Ever since that, I am his fan.

So, last Saturday, finally, for the first time I met Dr. Beni. I bought his first novel, Breathe. Which I never plan to buy. But then, my feet brought me to him, and again I never wish to meet him face to face. He was so charming just exactly I thought him would be. Can be said that I was so thrilled. That 1 minute greet session  has been so meaningful to me. Our conversation only consists of four to five dialogues :

Dr : Hi. Sorry for the long wait. (why he is so gentleman apologise for thing he don't need too. I cry 😭)
Dr. : What is your name ?
Me : Nurul.
Dr. : Okay Nurul... *signing my book while spelling my name'
Me : Boleh ambil gambar ?

Click click. Done.


When I read the book, I feel the emotions that he wants to imply in his novel. And I was like, is he in pain ? I keep on thinking about his pain, and one night, I dreamed of him and I refused to woke up cause it feels so real and of course it is a wonderful one. 😂

So as I woke up from that dream, I immediately reach my phone and start stalking his social medias until I decided to open his blog. I read two posts from his blog. One about his novel and another one was just his random post. I read and read and then and I saw a phrase 'Loneliness has never been so inviting.' Again I feel like 'is he in pain or he just feel empty inside ?'

Everything he wrote, it is from what he feels inside. Obviously. And readers can feel it too.

Have you ever feel like you want to reach to that person (the one you admire or love) talk to him, listen to him, laugh with him, so that you can ease his pain ?

I feel it and I wish I can reach to him. But I am nobody.

The End.



P/s : Sorry for my bad english.